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Post by danceintherain on Aug 17, 2012 0:05:16 GMT -5
I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if this venting or if I need advice but I figured this was the best place to do either.
My mom read my journal. I'm a writer (well, an English major) and when I write in my journal, it's because I'm upset. Or something bad happened. Or I need to vent. It's how I let off steam without talking things through and it makes me feel better. There are things in my journal that I wish to remain private. It's my getaway. To remember things.
Today, my mom was at work. She asked me to look at something in her planner. So, I grabbed what I thought was her planner. Nope. It was HER journal. I wasn't trying to read it. But I saw "I read MYNAMEHERE'S journal, I'm concerned about her choices." And I had to read the sentence after. I was nosy and curious. She read everything. EVERYTHING. She knows I'm upset at my dad and brother, the drinking, any bad grades I had in school, and my "borderline sex" (that's what she called it). I'm so upset and betrayed and HURT and...mad. I don't want to talk to her about it. I know she's concerned but my choices are fine. I'm in college...I know that sounds like an excuse, but I'm graduating on time and my GPA is fine as well. I just can't believe she read it. :/
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Post by plethorian on Aug 17, 2012 11:58:42 GMT -5
Oh god, that is just...that is like the worst thing. I am so sorry, danceintherain, really, I feel awful just hearing about it. I don't know if this is really any good advice, but I think you need to confront your mom-not necessarily about what she read, but about her reading it. Tell her that what she did was one of the worst betrayals, and how much it hurt you that she did it. You need to establish that she can't ever read your journal again, not ever, and that if you feel she needs to know something, you'll tell her. I am so so sorry, I hope you feel better.
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shadow
Full Member
Bolin in the deep
Posts: 186
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Post by shadow on Aug 17, 2012 20:42:59 GMT -5
That really sucks, I've had similar things happen myself and I was absolutely furious at her. (She went into my room, through all my stuff to find a friends phone number so she could text her and ask if I was alright just because my phone was out of battery so I hadn't texted her when I arrived at my destination which was said friends house. I was LIVID)
I told her so which I don't think helped. She was just 'oh I was SO WORRIED about you, you could have crashed and died!' Which granted could have happened, but she would have known about it pretty soon anyway, so there was no need. It depends on your mum, if she is the sort of person to concede that she was in the wrong or if she will stubbornly argue she was in the right. You should tell her anyway though because even if she is in the latter, then she needs to know she's out of order.
You could write a journal entry about how betrayed you feel about the invasion of privacy. =/
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Post by appleorchardghost on Aug 18, 2012 18:33:38 GMT -5
I've kept a journal for the past six years and if anyone had read mine, I'd strangle them.
Tell her everything. Be very clear on how you feel betrayed and hurt you are that she would invade your privacy like that. Try as hard as you can to stay calm though, it's always best to stay calm in confrontations so people take you seriously. If she says that she did nothing wrong, that she was only worried about you, etc., let her know that she could have just talked to you instead of snooping. Also, let her know that you are in college, and you can make your own choices, and yes, she is your mother, but you are an adult now.
Gosh, I can't believe she would do that when she keeps a journal of her own. I'm so, so sorry and I hope this never happens to you again.
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Post by ladylightning on Aug 23, 2012 16:19:46 GMT -5
Eugh, that sucks man.
My mum's hacked into my online journal before, then confronted me about what she didn't like when she read it. Was completely gob-smacked and angry as Hell. It's such a horrible feeling when someone invades your private thoughts like that.
I'm quite a confrontational person, so I'd suggest that you blow this thing wide open. (Though obviously that's completely your decision and I don't want to pressure you.) If she's really worried about you and your choices a heart to heart could really help her. At the same time, what she did was wrong, and she needs to know that you've found out. If you don't tell her it's like she's got away with it or something.
But my advice isn't entirely malicious or to make her feel guilty - this sorta stuff has a tendency to linger under the surface and make relationships suffer. At the end of the day she's still your mum, and maybe if all this is out there you can make an even stronger, more trusting relationship after the confrontation?
Whatever you choose to do, good luck, and I hope she doesn't invade your world like this again =( x
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